VIDEO

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Healing After Betrayal

By Gary Zukav — 2018

You cannot trust what others will choose in their futures. Their choices are unknowable. The Universe is alive, wise, and compassionate. It supports your spiritual growth through your every experience. This is the only thing that you can trust.

06:49 min

FindCenter Quotes ImageIf only our passion to understand others were as great as our passion to be understood. Were this so, all our apologies would be truly meaningful and healing.

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Harriet Lerner
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FindCenter Quotes ImageWhen forgiveness experts talk in binary language (’You either forgive the wrongdoer or you are a prisoner of your own anger and hate’), they are collapsing the messy complexity of human emotions into a simplistic dichotomous equation.

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Harriet Lerner
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FindCenter Quotes ImagePeople’s sense of self-worth is pivotal to their ability to look clearly at the hurt they’ve caused. The more solid one’s sense of self regard, the more likely that that person can feel empathy and compassion for the hurt party, and apologize from an authentic center.

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Harriet Lerner
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FindCenter Quotes ImageThe best apologies are short, and don’t go on to include explanations that run the risk of undoing them. An apology isn’t the only chance you ever get to address the underlying issue. The apology is the chance you get to establish the ground for future communication.

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Harriet Lerner
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FindCenter Quotes ImageAnger is inevitable when our lives consist of giving in and going along; when we assume responsibility for other people’s feelings and reactions; when we relinquish our primary responsibility to proceed with our own growth and ensure the quality of our own lives; when we behave as if having a...

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Harriet Lerner
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FindCenter Quotes ImageFeeling angry signals a problem, venting anger does not solve it. Venting anger may serve to maintain, and even rigidify, the old rules and patterns in a relationship, thus ensuring that change does not occur.

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Harriet Lerner
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FindCenter Quotes ImageWe cannot make another person change his or her steps to an old dance, but if we change our own steps, the dance no longer can continue in the same predictable pattern.

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Harriet Lerner
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Learn This Surprising Ingredient to Relationship Success

Relationship success requires us to follow this counter-intuitive rule.

Article
Harriet Lerner
2020
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The Dance of Connection: How to Talk to Someone When You’re Mad, Hurt, Scared, Frustrated, Insulted, Betrayed, or Desperate

The key problem in relationships, particularly over time, is that people begin to lose their voice.

Book
Harriet Lerner
2002
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Why Won’t You Apologize?: Healing Big Betrayals and Everyday Hurts

Renowned psychologist and bestselling author of The Dance of Anger sheds new light on the two most important words in the English language—I’m sorry—and offers a unique perspective on the challenge of healing broken connections and restoring trust. Dr.

Book
Harriet Lerner
2017
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EXPLORE TOPIC

Betrayal