42:09 min
CLEAR ALL
Going cold on our partners is often a sign not that we have stopped caring, but that we are - somewhere deep down - furious or hurt
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The issue of who shows an interest in having a physical relationship in a couple might be mistaken for rather trivial; after all, what counts is that it happens, not that one or the other party initiates.
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Dr. Kate discusses how someone in a love addiction cycle generally pairs up with someone in a love avoidance cycle, because their needs are similar but opposite in terms of how they're expressed. Someone in a love avoidance cycle typically enters a relationship under a feeling of obligation or duty.
Healthy relationships are built upon skills emphasizing connection and affirmation. Sometimes, though, a partner may be reluctant to connect, becoming avoidant. This can be especially common when conflicts arise.
Now, the point I really want to make today, is that you don’t need to have experienced significant trauma, or attachment disruptions in your past, to slip into experiencing anxiety or avoidance as a go to coping skill for stress in a romantic situation.