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Fight Smarter: Avoid the Most Common Argument Patterns - Esther Perel

By Esther Perel — 2017

07:07 min

03:26

See How this Single Question Saved a Marriage

This story is about a situation where Todd, a husband, almost left his wife and kids, and the wife found a way to ask one non-defensive question that led to a conversation that saved the marriage.

Video
Sharon Strand Ellison
2013
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05:06

Parents Argue Over Popular Daughter Who Is Rude at Home

This story is about a mom and a step-dad who had argued a lot over a teenage daughter who was rude and home and unwilling to do her part. The step-dad shifted to using a non-defensive statement and got very different results.

Video
Sharon Strand Ellison
2013
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04:00

How One Girl Stopped a Boy from Ever Bullying Her Again

This story is about a 10-year old girl who stopped a bully from harassing her with one non-defensive question.

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Sharon Strand Ellison
2013
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05:51

How Would You Feel if You Could Easily Set Limits & Be More Respected?

So often when we set limits it is with an agenda. We want a certain result and are upset if we don't get it. Here I talk about how to set limits that really work, but it requires not trying to control "which choice" the other child or adult makes.

Video
Sharon Strand Ellison
2013
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03:16

Harassment in the Workplace

This story is about a young woman who was being sexually harassed by her supervisor and was able to ask a question that prompted the supervisor to completely shift his behavior.

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Sharon Strand Ellison
2013
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08:24

How Can You Have More Power By Being Non-Defensive?

A short talk on how shift from ways of using power in our interactions that are defensive and lead to power struggle to gaining far greater power by using non-defensive communication skills.

Video
Sharon Strand Ellison
2013
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04:33

Why Can’t We Think Straight When We Get Defensive?

Defensiveness lives in our bodies; It’s not just a matter of controlling ourselves; the minute we feel any kind of threat it takes over. So how to we get rid of it?

Video
Sharon Strand Ellison
2013
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04:12

How Can Simple Curious Questions Have Such Disarming Power?

We are used to asking questions in ways that convey judgment and/or are interrogating or entrapping. Much of the body language and tone we use is unconscious. To be real, a question needs to be based on pure curiosity, but it's easier said than done.

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Sharon Strand Ellison
2013
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01:25

The Importance of Facial Expression in Communication: Sharon Strand Ellison

Sharon Strand Ellison, the author of Taking the War Out of Our Words, is a pioneer in the field of eliminating defensiveness. An international communication consultant and award-winning speaker, Sharon is the Founder and Executive Director of the Institute for Powerful Non-Defensive Communication.

Video
Sharon Strand Ellison
2017
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02:06

Ego and Defensiveness in Communication: Sharon Strand Ellison

Sharon Strand Ellison, the author of Taking the War Out of Our Words, is a pioneer in the field of eliminating defensiveness. An international communication consultant and award-winning speaker, Sharon is the Founder and Executive Director of the Institute for Powerful Non-Defensive Communication.

Video
Sharon Strand Ellison
2017
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EXPLORE TOPIC

Communication Skills