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You cannot shame or belittle people into changing their behaviors.

By Brené Brown
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Cassandra Brené Brown, PhD, is an American author, public speaker, researcher, and social worker. She has spent the past two decades studying courage, vulnerability, shame, and empathy and is the author of numerous #1 New York Times bestsellers on these subjects.

More Brené Brown
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117 - Friday Fix: How to Reframe Your Shame

Shame is a painful feeling we all experience at one time or another. In this episode, I share the most helpful thing you can do to start addressing your shame.

Podcast
The Verywell Mind Podcast With Amy Morin
2021
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02:41

The 3 Reasons People Feel Guilty | Oprah's Life Class | Oprah Winfrey Network

Spiritual teacher Iyanla Vanzant says many people confuse guilt (a feeling that you've done something wrong) with shame (a sense that there's something wrong with who you are). Find out why Iyanla says both sentiments are wasted emotions.

Video
Oprah Winfrey
2012
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01:43

How to Deal with Passive-Aggressive Behavior

People in your life can make you feel bad or wrong by saying one thing to you and meaning something else. You can avoid falling into their traps.

Video
2010
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19:28

What does it mean to be "passive aggressive"? (Glossary of Narcissistic Relationships)

Video
Ramani Durvasula
2020
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Overcoming Toxic Emotions: A Practical Guide to Building Better Relationships with Yourself and Others

The desire to love and be loved and feel valued is universal. Seems easy enough, but for most people it is a constant, and often silent, struggle. Toxic emotions such as fear, resentment, guilt, and shame drain your energy, deflate the spirit, and make you feel stuck.

Book
Leah Guy
2021
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11:21

Why Are Shame & Trauma So Connected?

Video
2018
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The Shame Factor: Heal Your Deepest Fears and Set Yourself Free

A popular clinical psychologist explores an often misunderstood and unrecognized emotion that’s the root cause of many self-defeating and harmful behaviors.

Book
Stephan B. Poulter
2019
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Shame: Free Yourself, Find Joy and Build True Self Esteem

Human beings everywhere, in every culture and on every continent in the world over, experience shame in exactly the same way: gaze aversion, brief mental confusion, and a longing to disappear, usually accompanied by blushing of the face, neck, or chest.

Book
Joseph Burgo
2019
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Conquering Shame and Codependency: 8 Steps to Freeing the True You

In Conquering Shame and Codependency, Darlene Lancer sheds new light on shame: how codependents’ feelings and beliefs about shame affect their identity, their behavior, and how shame can corrode relationships, destroying trust and love.

Book
Darlene Lancer
2014
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Where Toxic Shame Comes from and How to Work Through It

Shame typically comes up when you look inward with a critical eye and evaluate yourself harshly, often for things you have little control over.

Article
Crystal Raypole
2020
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Shame