CLEAR ALL
Only through our connectedness to others can we really know and enhance the self. And only through working on the self can we begin to enhance our connectedness to others.
7
We cannot make another person change his or her steps to an old dance, but if we change our own steps, the dance no longer can continue in the same predictable pattern.
4
People’s sense of self-worth is pivotal to their ability to look clearly at the hurt they’ve caused. The more solid one’s sense of self regard, the more likely that that person can feel empathy and compassion for the hurt party, and apologize from an authentic center.
Anger is a tool for change when it challenges us to become more of an expert on the self and less of an expert on others.
Questioning ourselves for being ‘oversensitive’ is a common way that women, in particular, disqualify our legitimate anger and hurt. . . . The fact that some of us feel more vulnerable than others in a particular context does not mean we are weak or lesser in any way.
3
Our society doesn’t promote self-acceptance and it never will. First of all, self-acceptance doesn’t sell products. Capitalism would fall if we liked ourselves the way we are now. Also, people who feel shamed and inadequate themselves tend to pass it on.
2
The strongest relationships are between two people who can live without each other but don’t want to.
The miracle is that your children will love you with all your imperfections if you can do the same for them.
Respect the fact that all you do and are now has evolved for a good reason and serves an important purpose.
1
When we do not put our primary emotional energy into solving our own problems, we take on other people’s problems as our own.