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Real intimacy is a sacred experience. It never exposes its secret trust and belonging to the voyeuristic eye of a neon culture. Real intimacy is of the soul, and the soul is reserved.

By John O’Donohue
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John O’Donohue, PhD, (1956–2008) was an Irish poet and author who wrote about Celtic spirituality, the healing powers of the natural world, the bonds of friendship, and the rich complexity of the inner life. A former Catholic priest, he was also an accomplished Hegelian scholar and popular speaker.

More John O’Donohue
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Debunking Relationship Myths: An Interview with John Gottman and Julie Schwartz Gottman

In all kinds of relationships, people have conflict and disagreements and hurt one another's feelings. What determines the success of the relationship is the way people deal with conflict, the nature of their friendship and intimacy, and their shared meaning system.

Article
Omega Institute
2014
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02:10

The Easiest Way to Improve Your Relationship | The Gottman Institute

The easiest way to improve your relationship is to pay attention to your partner during life’s small, everyday moments. This video shows you how.

Video
John Gottman
2018
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03:16

How to Complain Without Hurting Your Partner | Dr. Julie Gottman | Relationship Advice

Want communications in your relationship to be more effective? Dr. Julie Schwartz Gottman explains the best (and worst) ways to talk to your mate about your wishes and needs.

Video
Julie Schwartz Gottman
2011
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00:53

Diffusing Difficult Conversations with Love | Dr. Julie Gottman

You've approached your partner in a gentle manner, to bring up an issue you want to discuss (called a "softened startup"). What if you get negative response? Listen to Dr. Julie Schwartz Gottman explain how to work around this.

Video
Julie Schwartz Gottman
2010
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05:34

Behaviors That Destroy Couples and How to Turn It Around | Dr. Julie Gottman

Dr. Julie Schwartz Gottman explains four of the most corrosive behaviors to relationships if left unrepaired, and what you can do to begin to turn things around. This is a short clip from Seattle's KING5 New Day Northwest TV show.

Video
Julie Schwartz Gottman
2012
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01:03:13

Modern Romance Interview | Dr. John & Julie Gottman | Talks at Google

Marriage experts Drs. John and Julie Gottman discuss how to make a marriage work and common misconceptions about relationships. They'll also cover what they found in their research with homosexual couples, how to build trust, and why you should keep your standards high.

Video
John Gottman
2015
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Eight Dates: Essential Conversations for a Lifetime of Love

Strengthen and deepen your love with a fun, ingenious program of eight life-changing conversations—on essential topics such as money, sex, and trust—from two of the world’s leading marriage researchers and clinicians.

Book
John Gottman, Julie Schwartz Gottman, Doug Abrams, Rachel Carlton Abrams
2019
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EXPLORE TOPIC

Intimacy