CLEAR ALL
This story is about a mom and a step-dad who had argued a lot over a teenage daughter who was rude and home and unwilling to do her part. The step-dad shifted to using a non-defensive statement and got very different results.
We are used to asking questions in ways that convey judgment and/or are interrogating or entrapping. Much of the body language and tone we use is unconscious. To be real, a question needs to be based on pure curiosity, but it's easier said than done.
Whether we are dealing with a rude clerk, our child saying, “That’s not fair!,” our spouse ignoring us, or an uncooperative co-worker, in our struggle to respond effectively, we often become defensive—sometimes without even realizing it.
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