By Nancy Candea
If we can process our regrets with tenderness and compassion, we can use these hard memories as a part of our wisdom bank.
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CLEAR ALL
Remorse and sorrow from a bad choice can haunt you for years, even decades. But there are evidence-based ways to move past regret.
Regret usually comes in one of two basic forms. For one, it may emerge as a sense of remorse, sadness and, often, guilt over things that happened but shouldn’t have. Deeply offending or betraying a friend would be an example.
If you tend to get stuck on the things you could have done better in the past, here are strategies to help shift your focus to a better future.
Some of us regret what we did, some of us regret what we didn’t do… some of us regret all of the above. And since “motherhood without regrets” is really not a thing, let’s have a conversation about how we can soothe the pain of regret in motherhood.
The idea that parents could regret their children is inescapably taboo. In an era of baby worship, it’s cross-culturally ingrained and glorified that all individuals, especially women, should want to have children.
Regret is a common emotion experienced by parents. If you find yourself experiencing regret, it doesn’t make you a bad parent, and rest assured that you are not alone. It is important to acknowledge the regret and take steps to cope.
New research explores a taboo topic.
It was a slow realization, taking years to accept and even more time to consider. But I regret that I had children.
I love my kids fiercely. But, if I’m being totally honest, there are times when I catch myself dreaming about the life I might have if I weren’t chained to three young kids, a husband and a mortgage.
Feelings of ambivalence about parenthood aren’t necessarily going to do harm to children. But when regret suffuses the parent-child dynamic, the whole family can suffer.