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Dating With a Disability

By Wendy Lu — 2016

Women with disabilities often begin to date much later in life, and they struggle in a dating culture that places a premium on physical appearance.

Read on www.nytimes.com

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We cannot make another person change his or her steps to an old dance, but if we change our own steps, the dance no longer can continue in the same predictable pattern.

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Harriet Lerner
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The strongest relationships are between two people who can live without each other but don’t want to.

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Harriet Lerner
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The Dance of Intimacy: A Woman’s Guide to Courageous Acts of Change in Key Relationships

In The Dance of Intimacy, the bestselling author of The Dance of Anger outlines the steps to take so that good relationships can be strengthened and difficult ones can be healed.

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Harriet Lerner
1990
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If only our passion to understand others were as great as our passion to be understood. Were this so, all our apologies would be truly meaningful and healing.

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Harriet Lerner
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When forgiveness experts talk in binary language (’You either forgive the wrongdoer or you are a prisoner of your own anger and hate’), they are collapsing the messy complexity of human emotions into a simplistic dichotomous equation.

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Harriet Lerner
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People’s sense of self-worth is pivotal to their ability to look clearly at the hurt they’ve caused. The more solid one’s sense of self regard, the more likely that that person can feel empathy and compassion for the hurt party, and apologize from an authentic center.

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Harriet Lerner
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Intimate relationships cannot substitute for a life plan. But to have any meaning or viability at all, a life plan must include intimate relationships.

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Harriet Lerner
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Avoidance will make you feel less vulnerable in the short run, but it will never make you less afraid.

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Harriet Lerner
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The best apologies are short, and don’t go on to include explanations that run the risk of undoing them. An apology isn’t the only chance you ever get to address the underlying issue. The apology is the chance you get to establish the ground for future communication.

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Harriet Lerner
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Questioning ourselves for being ‘oversensitive’ is a common way that women, in particular, disqualify our legitimate anger and hurt. . . . The fact that some of us feel more vulnerable than others in a particular context does not mean we are weak or lesser in any way.

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Harriet Lerner
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EXPLORE TOPIC

Disabled Well-Being