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What Those with Chronic Pain or Illness DON’T Want to Hear

By Toni Bernhard — 2012

I've written this piece partly because I hope it will make those of us with health difficulties feel less alone and partly because I hope it will help others understand how to communicate with us better. With that in mind, I hope you'll find it helpful. Each of the following comments has been made to me at least once since I became ill in 2001.

Read on www.psychologytoday.com

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I Was Ghosted By My Friends When I Got Cancer

You not calling, as a friend, can actually compound the grief and loss they are feeling. Just pick up the phone, even if you get it wrong, just have a conversation and do your best. Your friend with cancer is still the same person they were before.

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Dear Therapist: I Survived Cancer, but Now I’m Afraid My Husband Resents Me

“For your husband, your illness may have made him acutely aware of not just your mortality, but also his own.”

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Olympic Swimmer Nathan Adrian on Testicular Cancer Diagnosis: I ‘Felt Betrayed by My Own Body’

For the first time in forever, Nathan Adrian truly has no idea if he’ll have a strong swim Friday. And at this point, it doesn’t really matter to the five-time Olympic gold medalist. He’s simply elated to be back.

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I Was Betrayed by My Body

‘Skin cancer worked its way into my lymph nodes. I was devastated.’

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Betrayed by My Body, Not by Life

In the end, I fall back on one statement that I repeat to myself pretty often. “We are not given the burdens we deserve, we are given the burdens we can bear.”

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Giving Thanks for My Imperiled Nurse

There are no adequate words to give thanks to those who trudge along with us on the cancer trek, especially those who assist us while they themselves remain vulnerable.

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Depression: Cancer’s Invisible Side Effect

Three in four depressed cancer patients don’t get enough help; survivors tell what it’s like to slip ‘down the rabbit hole’ — and how to climb back out.

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Depression

Feelings of depression are common when patients and family members are coping with cancer. It's normal to feel sadness and grief. Dreams, plans, and the future may seem uncertain.

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When Your Spouse Has Cancer

Includes Frequently Asked Questions about how to communicate and cope.

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What Cancer Takes Away

When I got sick, I warned my friends: Don’t try to make me stop thinking about death.

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