By Alex Hawgood — 2019
The reality-show star says he’s living with H.I.V., and speaks about being an addict and a sexual abuse survivor.
Read on www.nytimes.com
CLEAR ALL
In the beginning, it was difficult to let myself rest, even with the ultimate doctor’s note. I felt like I still had to push past my (extremely limited) capabilities. I had to practice slowing down and allowing my frailties to become visible even when I had the choice to hide them.
I’m the first to admit that for many years, I was a bit emotionally needy. Not in a crazy, desperate way, but in the way that many of us are. I wanted someone else to make me happy, blamed others for my unhappiness, sought to fulfill my emotional needs through others.
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