By Emily Hashimoto — 2020
A queer author of color on the limits of language and the maximums of love.
Read on www.out.com
CLEAR ALL
“For your husband, your illness may have made him acutely aware of not just your mortality, but also his own.”
For many of us, men with broad shoulders, narrow hips, taut muscles, and white skin — sun-kissed or pale under hot lights — became an ideal we couldn’t escape. We coveted images of these bodies like treasure, and they educated us in the rules of attraction.
I was a cool hand, before I became a mother. Now, I’m a hopeless phobic. Whenever a child of mine gets sick, even with just a routine flu or stomach virus, every cough makes my heart race.