By Kelsey Borresen — 2019
Experts say this common communication issue can push couples apart.
Read on www.huffpost.com
CLEAR ALL
When we read the news, we might find ourselves overwhelmed with “non-OK-ness,” but Sylvia Boorstein says there are ways we can work with that feeling.
So what is this Imago stuff, and why is it so popular? The complete theory is a multifaceted model explaining attraction, conflict and healing within intimate relationships.
When we fall in love, we see life in Technicolor. We nibble each other's ears and tell each other everything; our limitations and rigidities melt away. We're sexier, smarter, funnier, more giving. We feel whole; we're connected.
Fear plays a huge role in relationships, and two fears in particular cause some of the biggest problems. If you understand how these two fears work, you’re much more likely to attract a healthy relationship into your life.
When you are not emotionally transparent, it creates a negative domino effect. You build up resentment and start acting differently towards your partner, which in turn creates distance in your relationship.
Most of us struggle at one time or another with an inability to feel what’s going on inside us at the level of emotion and energy flow. The technical term for this problem is “alexithymia.”
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For over two decades, I have worked with men and women from around the world to help them improve their relationships.
You can’t talk someone out of being in love with Darth Vader, and sadly, the worse it gets the more your friend might try to talk himself into trying to make it work because if there is a happy ending all the ways he’s had to abase himself to stay in the relationship will have been “worth it.
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It sounds simple, yet it’s more than a technique for resolving conflict. It’s a different way of understanding human motivation and behavior.
“I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it.” ~Nelson Mandela