By Steve Friedman — 2019
How can a spurned lover make his case? In this essay — the first Modern Love column ever published, exactly 15 years ago — one writer counts the ways.
Read on www.nytimes.com
CLEAR ALL
Adult relationships succeed or fail for many reasons beyond the partners' childhoods, of course. Most people have to work to master the skills necessary to make romantic relationships endure and flourish, and threats to their connection are sources of great psychological anguish.
1
Love is great. Love is necessary. Love is beautiful. But love is not enough.
Ditch the idea of a "failed relationship" and make each relationship you have one that you can learn and grow from.
In all kinds of relationships, people have conflict and disagreements and hurt one another's feelings. What determines the success of the relationship is the way people deal with conflict, the nature of their friendship and intimacy, and their shared meaning system.
2
Couples are having less sex these days than even in the famously uptight ’50s. Why?
It was during these awkward fertility treatments that it dawned on me that there were some dramatic differences between my first and second marriages.
I have been no stranger to inter-ability relationships. But finding the right person to be able to handle me and my disability has been difficult.
Tip #7: Be patient with us.
People with physical disabilities fight hurtful stereotypes when looking for relationship partners
Understanding how and why can help people cope with the disorder.