By Dennis Jaffe — 2018
“To earn trust, money and power aren’t enough; you have to show some concern for others. You can’t buy trust in the supermarket." – His Holiness the Dalai Lama
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CLEAR ALL
Relationship dances between these two types can become very complicated.
1440: Is it true that on the whole we're not very good listeners? Harville: In the resting state, when we're not distracted, the research shows we have a 13–18% accuracy rate.
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Most of us struggle at one time or another with an inability to feel what’s going on inside us at the level of emotion and energy flow. The technical term for this problem is “alexithymia.”
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When you think of your mother, does your heart open with compassion or tighten with resentment? Do you allow yourself to feel her tenderness and care? The way we receive our mother’s love can be similar to how we experience love from a partner.
You can’t talk someone out of being in love with Darth Vader, and sadly, the worse it gets the more your friend might try to talk himself into trying to make it work because if there is a happy ending all the ways he’s had to abase himself to stay in the relationship will have been “worth it.
From a Buddhist standpoint, there’s nothing to win in a relationship, just as there’s nothing to win in life—except, of course, the deep satisfaction that comes from appreciation, collaboration, and love.
The communication technique of Non-Violent Communication (NVC) developed by Dr. Marshall Rosenberg provides a way to communicate with our partners safely and peacefully.
“I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it.” ~Nelson Mandela
All relationships go through phases, there will be good times and challenges. When you recognize that your relationship is in a rough spot, take heart. Great relationships don’t happen by luck. There are the specific skills and actions that strengthen our relationships.
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Adult relationships succeed or fail for many reasons beyond the partners' childhoods, of course. Most people have to work to master the skills necessary to make romantic relationships endure and flourish, and threats to their connection are sources of great psychological anguish.