By Chuck Schaeffer — 2018
Coping with the psychological and physiological shifts of fatherhood.
Read on www.psychologytoday.com
CLEAR ALL
Having a child is undeniably one of the greatest joys life brings, but it’s also an adjustment.
A baby changes everything—including, oftentimes, your interest in sex. Still, the goal isn’t to get the “old you” back. It’s to figure out who you are now.
The very qualities that lead to greater emotional satisfaction in peer marriages, as one sociologist calls them, may be having an unexpectedly negative impact on these couples’ sex lives.
Some tips to help you nourish each other's hearts.
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In The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, Dr. John Gottman’s research proves that 69% of problems in a relationship are unsolvable. These may be things like personality traits your partner has that rub you the wrong way, or long-standing issues around spending and saving money.
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A real relationship is steeped in an inner knowing of ones’ inherent value. It blooms from well-loved and maintained foundation of self-knowledge, self-respect and clear values.
When you think of your mother, does your heart open with compassion or tighten with resentment? Do you allow yourself to feel her tenderness and care? The way we receive our mother’s love can be similar to how we experience love from a partner.
From a Buddhist standpoint, there’s nothing to win in a relationship, just as there’s nothing to win in life—except, of course, the deep satisfaction that comes from appreciation, collaboration, and love.
All relationships go through phases, there will be good times and challenges. When you recognize that your relationship is in a rough spot, take heart. Great relationships don’t happen by luck. There are the specific skills and actions that strengthen our relationships.
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Adult relationships succeed or fail for many reasons beyond the partners' childhoods, of course. Most people have to work to master the skills necessary to make romantic relationships endure and flourish, and threats to their connection are sources of great psychological anguish.