By Avidan Milevsky Ph.D. — 2020
The plight of siblings who have lost a major part of their life.
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The death of a loved one often comes with devastating consequences for those left behind. In adults, grief caused by the death of a spouse or child has been linked to a number of negative health affects, including heart trouble and increased risk of death.
Of all the possible tragedies of childhood, losing a sister or brother to early death is almost too awful to contemplate. Yet it is startlingly common.
I’m an expert on siblings and grief. Not because I’m a psychologist who specializes in grief. No. I am an expert because I have lost two of my sisters.
Grief is a normal response to the loss of a brother or sister. But adult siblings are sometimes called "forgotten mourners" because their grief is often overshadowed by the grief of other family members, such as the person’s parents, spouse, or children.
There was nothing Sandy Boucher could have done to prevent the tragedy. Yet decade after decade, she has carried the burden of guilt. This is a meditation on living with what cannot be undone.