By Aaron E. Carroll — 2017
Of all the possible tragedies of childhood, losing a sister or brother to early death is almost too awful to contemplate. Yet it is startlingly common.
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I’m an expert on siblings and grief. Not because I’m a psychologist who specializes in grief. No. I am an expert because I have lost two of my sisters.
There was nothing Sandy Boucher could have done to prevent the tragedy. Yet decade after decade, she has carried the burden of guilt. This is a meditation on living with what cannot be undone.
Just because you feel guilty doesn’t mean you’ve done something wrong. Relax the rules you live by and set yourself free.
The death of a loved one often comes with devastating consequences for those left behind. In adults, grief caused by the death of a spouse or child has been linked to a number of negative health affects, including heart trouble and increased risk of death.
Grief is a normal response to the loss of a brother or sister. But adult siblings are sometimes called "forgotten mourners" because their grief is often overshadowed by the grief of other family members, such as the person’s parents, spouse, or children.
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Many parents feel guilty about committing the “sins” that afflict nearly all mothers and fathers. But feeling guilty has consequences related to the emotional health of parents and children's general wellbeing.