By Christina Patterson
When the poet Joanne Limburg’s brother killed himself, she simply couldn’t accept it. Christina Patterson, whose sister also suddenly died, finds out how she coped
Read on www.theguardian.com
CLEAR ALL
Normal bereavement and major depression share many of the same symptoms. And because of those similarities, psychiatrists have historically carved out what is known as a "bereavement exclusion." Its purpose was to reduce the likelihood that normal grief would be diagnosed as clinical depression.
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Joanne Cacciatore of Sedona started the nonprofit MISS Foundation in 1996 to provide counseling, advocacy, research and education services to families who have endured the death of a child.
"But now we’re asked — and sometimes forced — to carry grief as a solitary burden. And the psyche knows we are not capable of handling grief in isolation." - Francis Weller
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The mismatch between the knowledge and the longing is perhaps the most anguishing of all human experiences.
The impact of the death of a person in some relationships does not always receive the attention it deserves. Siblings are often referred to as the “forgotten grievers.”
While everyone will experience the loss of a loved one at some time in his or her life, and no loss is easy, losing a brother or sister is especially difficult because of the bond formed between siblings. More research and attention is now being placed on the sibling grieving experience.
I’m an expert on siblings and grief. Not because I’m a psychologist who specializes in grief. No. I am an expert because I have lost two of my sisters.
The other day I asked our Facebook community to suggest resources for people who’ve experienced the death of a sibling. Although some were able to make recommendations, many were quick to point out their struggle to find help and support for their loss.
The five stages of coping with dying (DABDA), were first described by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross in her classic book, "On Death and Dying," in 1969.
For most of us, our parents serve as elements of safety and stability, a constant amidst the flux of everyday life. When they die, we lose a tangible piece of that security, which can leave us feeling extremely off balance—even if we knew it was coming due to a long-term illness or extreme old age.