By Lori H. Gordon — 2016
How relationships are sabotaged by hidden expectations.
Read on www.psychologytoday.com
CLEAR ALL
Couples’ fights in lockdown are often about the unremitting intensity of togetherness. The sooner you de-escalate a fight, the sooner you can begin working on real solutions.
Once we've fallen in love, it's difficult for most of us to think as clearly as we might have prior to becoming attached to someone. We overlook the small things, which is good. But we can also ignore the large things—matters that, if closely examined, might mean the end of the relationship.
Learning to fight fairly is key to preserving goodwill in all our relationships, from personal to public. Stan Tatkin and his partner Tracey Boldemann-Tatkin, codevelopers of the Psychobiological Approach to Couple Therapy, say the key lies in staying connected even as you express your unhappiness.
How couples fight is just as important as how they love, and it's one of the most predictive factors for a successful relationship. All couples have conflict and will cause each other distress from time to time.
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