By Lori H. Gordon — 2016
How relationships are sabotaged by hidden expectations.
Read on www.psychologytoday.com
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Conflict doesn’t mean the end of your remarriage, and can actually make it stronger. There are always going to be disagreements; you cannot avoid them entirely. What you can do, however, is become skilled at recovering from disputes by talking about your perspectives afterwards.
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Whether we were raised in a family we are proud of or one we don’t get along with, our family life is a unique culture that leaves its imprint on us.
There’s a gap between what you’re really thinking and what you’re saying. You’re distracted by all that’s going on inside and you’re uncertain about what to share and what’s better left unsaid.
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Your idea of a great Sunday is to rise with the sun for a long run. Your partner, however, has other ideas. His notion of a proper Sunday involves sleeping late and enjoying a leisurely brunch over the Sunday paper.
If the answers are no, there’s likely going to be a problem.
In The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, Dr. John Gottman’s research proves that 69% of problems in a relationship are unsolvable. These may be things like personality traits your partner has that rub you the wrong way, or long-standing issues around spending and saving money.
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Unresolved conflict can lead to resentment and additional unresolved conflict in the relationship. Even more important, ongoing conflict can actually have a negative impact on your health and longevity.
Relationship dances between these two types can become very complicated.
It sounds simple, yet it’s more than a technique for resolving conflict. It’s a different way of understanding human motivation and behavior.
Whether he’s working in a war-torn area or an inner-city slum, Rosenberg’s goal is the same: to teach and encourage compassionate communication.