By Desiree Woodland — 2019
Thirteen years ago, my son took his life. At the time, I could not imagine living one more day or hour without him, much less these many years.
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Each person's journey to death is unique. Some people have a very gradual decline; others will fade quickly.
Whether you are confronting the end of your own life or the loss of a loved one, death is a certainty of life that everyone will face. Even so, knowing that it's inevitable doesn't mean you'll feel prepared for dealing with death and the grief that follows.
Five years ago, my father fell into a deep bout of depression. Twelve months later his depression culminated in suicide.
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Tami Simon interviews Ram Dass and Mirabai Bush, who have written a new beautiful book, called Walking Each Other Home: Conversations on Loving and Dying. It explores what it means to live and die consciously, remembering who we really are, and illuminating the path that we all walk together.
In the past two months, three personal essays appeared on this blog that, while each uniquely told, shared a tragic connection. The authors had all lost a close family member to suicide.
Loss survivors – the close family and friends left behind after a suicide – number six to 32 for each death, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, meaning that in 2017 alone, as many as 1.5 million people unwillingly became part of this group.
“A suicide is like a pebble in a pond. The waves ripple outward.” Many years ago, my colleague Ken Norton, LICSW, director of NAMI New Hampshire, shared this quote, and it has stuck with me. Visually, when you see a pebble drop into a pond, it’s something small that makes a big impact.
I grew up with mental illness in my family. I was the youngest of four siblings — Joan, Victor, Barbara and I — in a Syrian Jewish household. When I was young, Victor and Joan both died by suicide. These losses had, and continue to have, a profound impact on my life.
I slept a lot. I woke up each day wondering how soon I could go back to bed. Sleep medicine became part of my daily routine, and I didn’t see how this change was problematic. After all, it was just a lifestyle habit changed to cope after losing someone.
A Wall Street Journal article about the experiences of the bereaved prompted readers to write about their own losses.