ARTICLE

FindCenter AddIcon

Self Care vs. Self Love: How to Love Yourself in a Relationship

By Caitlin Killoren — 2020

It can be easy to get caught up in your relationship, but focusing on two different concepts; self care and self love, can help you stay in-tune with yourself so that you can be more present for yourself, your partner and your relationship.

Read on hellorelish.com

FindCenter Post-Image

We cannot make another person change his or her steps to an old dance, but if we change our own steps, the dance no longer can continue in the same predictable pattern.

Quote
Harriet Lerner
FindCenter AddIcon
FindCenter Post-Image

Only through our connectedness to others can we really know and enhance the self. And only through working on the self can we begin to enhance our connectedness to others.

Quote
Harriet Lerner
FindCenter AddIcon
FindCenter Post-Image

If only our passion to understand others were as great as our passion to be understood. Were this so, all our apologies would be truly meaningful and healing.

Quote
Harriet Lerner
FindCenter AddIcon
FindCenter Post-Image

When forgiveness experts talk in binary language (’You either forgive the wrongdoer or you are a prisoner of your own anger and hate’), they are collapsing the messy complexity of human emotions into a simplistic dichotomous equation.

Quote
Harriet Lerner
FindCenter AddIcon
FindCenter Post-Image

People’s sense of self-worth is pivotal to their ability to look clearly at the hurt they’ve caused. The more solid one’s sense of self regard, the more likely that that person can feel empathy and compassion for the hurt party, and apologize from an authentic center.

Quote
Harriet Lerner
FindCenter AddIcon
FindCenter Post-Image

Intimate relationships cannot substitute for a life plan. But to have any meaning or viability at all, a life plan must include intimate relationships.

Quote
Harriet Lerner
FindCenter AddIcon
FindCenter Post-Image

The best apologies are short, and don’t go on to include explanations that run the risk of undoing them. An apology isn’t the only chance you ever get to address the underlying issue. The apology is the chance you get to establish the ground for future communication.

Quote
Harriet Lerner
FindCenter AddIcon
FindCenter Post-Image

Anger is inevitable when our lives consist of giving in and going along; when we assume responsibility for other people’s feelings and reactions; when we relinquish our primary responsibility to proceed with our own growth and ensure the quality of our own lives; when we behave as if having a...

Quote
Harriet Lerner
FindCenter AddIcon
FindCenter Post-Image

Feeling angry signals a problem, venting anger does not solve it. Venting anger may serve to maintain, and even rigidify, the old rules and patterns in a relationship, thus ensuring that change does not occur.

Quote
Harriet Lerner
FindCenter AddIcon
FindCenter Post-Image

The strongest relationships are between two people who can live without each other but don’t want to.

Quote
Harriet Lerner
FindCenter AddIcon

EXPLORE TOPIC

Romantic Relationships