By Brianna Holt — 2020
Having tough conversations about racism, police brutality and current events aren’t an option for Black and white couples — they’re essential.
Read on www.nytimes.com
CLEAR ALL
Sometimes you have to come up with unique ways to show love if your partner has a disability.
Forget Myers-Briggs and the latest Facebook quiz. These are the only personality types that are actually backed by science.
There are two types of people in the world: those who believe in the Myers-Briggs personality test and those who don't. Except that's not true. Grouping people into two, three or 16 categories, which is the aim of a lot of personality tests, has never quite worked.
The concept of the “love languages,” then, is a gentle reminder of something that is at once obvious and easy to forget: Not everyone experiences the world in the exact same way that you do. Not even your partner.
While some people feel the most loved when they hear the words “I love you,” for folks with the acts of service love language, it’s more meaningful when you actually do something to show them your love. In other words, actions speak louder than words.
Adult attachment theory outlines certain styles—secure, anxious, fearful avoidant, and dismissive avoidant—that provide a framework for understanding how you relate to others and your ability to establish intimacy.
The better you know yourself, the better you can help others know you. And the more others know you, the more they are able to love you the way you want. That stands for everyone in your life, including friends.
Stay tuned in to what your child’s reactions and behaviors say about the type of love she needs in any given moment and there’s no doubt that you’ll continue to connect—and reconnect—as she grows.
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Perhaps what people misunderstand about the love-languages theory is similar to what they often misunderstand about love itself: that considering the needs and wants of the other person first and then adjusting your own behavior—and not expecting it to work the other way around—is what makes the...