By Guy Winch — 2018
Use “negative reappraisal,” and understand you have work to do—time alone may not be enough.
Read on www.scientificamerican.com
CLEAR ALL
A real relationship is steeped in an inner knowing of ones’ inherent value. It blooms from well-loved and maintained foundation of self-knowledge, self-respect and clear values.
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Harville Hendrix, Ph.D., one of North America's leading authorities on communication and relationships, talks about why we fall in and out of love; how to heal yourself after a divorce; and how to talk -- and listen -- powerfully.
When you think of your mother, does your heart open with compassion or tighten with resentment? Do you allow yourself to feel her tenderness and care? The way we receive our mother’s love can be similar to how we experience love from a partner.
From a Buddhist standpoint, there’s nothing to win in a relationship, just as there’s nothing to win in life—except, of course, the deep satisfaction that comes from appreciation, collaboration, and love.
Instead of arguing or ignoring things, read the signs and take effective action.
All relationships go through phases, there will be good times and challenges. When you recognize that your relationship is in a rough spot, take heart. Great relationships don’t happen by luck. There are the specific skills and actions that strengthen our relationships.
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Adult relationships succeed or fail for many reasons beyond the partners' childhoods, of course. Most people have to work to master the skills necessary to make romantic relationships endure and flourish, and threats to their connection are sources of great psychological anguish.
Couples’ fights in lockdown are often about the unremitting intensity of togetherness. The sooner you de-escalate a fight, the sooner you can begin working on real solutions.
How couples fight is just as important as how they love, and it's one of the most predictive factors for a successful relationship. All couples have conflict and will cause each other distress from time to time.
Love is great. Love is necessary. Love is beautiful. But love is not enough.