By Paula Stephens — 2020
Four and a half years after the death of my oldest son, I finally went to a grief support group for parents who have lost children.
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The mismatch between the knowledge and the longing is perhaps the most anguishing of all human experiences.
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For most of us, our parents serve as elements of safety and stability, a constant amidst the flux of everyday life. When they die, we lose a tangible piece of that security, which can leave us feeling extremely off balance—even if we knew it was coming due to a long-term illness or extreme old age.
There may be a reason so many people refer to losing a piece of themselves...
No matter what you say to someone whose parent or loved one died, it should be derivative of the same goal: communicating empathy and offering assistance, understanding what a person might need from you, and knowing how to phrase sentiments the right way.
This is what it looks like when you grieve the death of an estranged parent. It’s this surreal thing, where everyone expects you to feel something—yet you don’t. For me, it didn’t feel like I lost a parent, or a loved one, or even a close friend. It felt like I’d lost what could have been.