By Hannah Dylan Pasternak — 2020
The entrepreneur and community leader on healing, boundaries, and tuning into yourself.
Read on www.self.com
CLEAR ALL
Conflict doesn’t mean the end of your remarriage, and can actually make it stronger. There are always going to be disagreements; you cannot avoid them entirely. What you can do, however, is become skilled at recovering from disputes by talking about your perspectives afterwards.
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Whether we were raised in a family we are proud of or one we don’t get along with, our family life is a unique culture that leaves its imprint on us.
Plenty of people love to describe the world of athletics in utopian terms, using words such as “colorblind” and “open-minded” and “meritocracy.” They’re not wrong to regard their realm as better than the so-called real world.
There’s a gap between what you’re really thinking and what you’re saying. You’re distracted by all that’s going on inside and you’re uncertain about what to share and what’s better left unsaid.
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Your idea of a great Sunday is to rise with the sun for a long run. Your partner, however, has other ideas. His notion of a proper Sunday involves sleeping late and enjoying a leisurely brunch over the Sunday paper.
In The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, Dr. John Gottman’s research proves that 69% of problems in a relationship are unsolvable. These may be things like personality traits your partner has that rub you the wrong way, or long-standing issues around spending and saving money.
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Unresolved conflict can lead to resentment and additional unresolved conflict in the relationship. Even more important, ongoing conflict can actually have a negative impact on your health and longevity.
When you get a group of people together day after day, conflict is inevitable. The employees you so carefully screened during hiring interviews aren't immune, either.
Relationship dances between these two types can become very complicated.
It sounds simple, yet it’s more than a technique for resolving conflict. It’s a different way of understanding human motivation and behavior.