By Tyler Coates — 2018
The relationships expert is demystifying couples therapy with her podcast, Where Should We Begin? But her approach to problem-solving goes beyond love, passion, and sex.
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CLEAR ALL
The five stages of a relationship are the Merge, Doubt and Denial, Disillusionment, the Decision, and Wholehearted Love. Every single relationship moves through these five stages—though not only once.
1
Instead of arguing or ignoring things, read the signs and take effective action.
While some couples are happier than others, and some are definitely more compatible, every couple has arguments or really difficult conversations at least once in a while. It's normal, but not everyone talks about them.
There’s no guidebook for relationship struggles – but there are ways to deal with them.
When it comes to relationships, most of us are winging it.
Traits that don’t fit our traditional narrative of what love should be are actually necessary ingredients for a healthy relationship.
3
It's the rare couple that doesn't run into a few bumps in the road. If you recognize ahead of time, though, what those relationship problems might be, you'll have a much better chance of getting past them.
Couples’ fights in lockdown are often about the unremitting intensity of togetherness. The sooner you de-escalate a fight, the sooner you can begin working on real solutions.
Once we've fallen in love, it's difficult for most of us to think as clearly as we might have prior to becoming attached to someone. We overlook the small things, which is good. But we can also ignore the large things—matters that, if closely examined, might mean the end of the relationship.
How couples fight is just as important as how they love, and it's one of the most predictive factors for a successful relationship. All couples have conflict and will cause each other distress from time to time.