By Tara Brach — 2020
One of the great blocks to realizing the gold of who we are is our conviction that something is wrong with me.
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CLEAR ALL
Our culture has taught us that we do not have the privilege of being vulnerable like other communities.
1
Sheila Rubin writes about transformance, a term used to describe “the force in the psyche that’s moving towards growth and expansion and transformation,” and the idea that healing is “not just an outcome but a process that exists within each person that emerges in conditions of safety.”
There’s an expectation of what is supposed to happen during the holidays: images of a family gathered around a tree, presents, food, love and connection as people smile at each other. But if your family is different, there sometimes can be shame.
One of the hardest aspects of being human is moving past shame. Those feelings of deep regret—and the lingering insecurity and unworthiness that most likely accompany them—stick with us in a way that can be profound.
2
In 1989, at one of the first international Buddhist teacher meetings, Western teachers brought up the enormous problem of unworthiness and self-criticism, shame and self-hatred that frequently they arise in Western students’ practice.
At a weekend workshop I led, one of the participants, Marian, shared her story about the shame and guilt that had tortured her.